Not sure how I missed it – Dick Cheney turned 70 yesterday

Happy Birthday, your holiness, please forgive me I know not what I do…

What I love about Dick Cheney, more than anything else (and that is saying something) is he is the one Conservative – the only one – who has managed to fire the Liberal Hate Machine into such a cauldron of obscenity that it has been impossible for Conservatives not to celebrate it.

Think I kid? That image up there, that wasn’t created by a Conservative – better yet, I love it!

Think I kid 2.0: Read the comments at this infamous Ace post. To wet your whistle, here’s number 1:

1 While on a sex-spree in a Tijuana whorehouse, Dick Cheney used a live cougar as a condom.

The bodycount was fourteen Mexican whores and one cougar.

In Tijuana, they refer to this as “The Night of the Sodomizing Cougar-Man.”

Dick Cheney refers to it as “last Thursday.”

There is exactly one thing wrong with Dick Cheney: He has not been, is not and never will be the President. In Cheney’s beyond-epic public castration of John Edwards during their sole debate, he never looked at the camera and barely looked at John Edwards.

Kidding aside, he is one of the Great Ones, and also happens to be one of the five people seated at the table for my fantasy American politics dinner party. He’s been looking ill of late, and I wish him all the best. To all those who hate him, who cares – I think a simple go fuck yourself will suffice.


About godsowncrunk
I'm King B, the originator of the Jellywhite lyrical style and god's own crunk.

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