33 Days, baby, 33 days…

I’m still feeling out some things here at King B Live, so as I write about whatever it is I write about tonight, I’ll also be discussing KBL in general. Although there are convenient Pages to explain this, King B is me, the originator of the Jellywhite lyrical style, that’s who.

And a right-wing bomb-thrower.

And the kind of lazy writer who begins his sentences with conjunctions.

There, I said it.


First, wattup with a Donkey dropping an eff-bomb in the context of their thoughts on what they’d like to do to Fred-6 regarding this whole tax thing? I thought saying ‘Fuck the President’ was racist or something. But then again, I call him Fred-6, and that’s gotta be racist. ‘Fuck the Presidont’ is more like it, amirite…

[That makes zero sense. –Cassie]

Second, all the haxor fun of late started with Visa and Mastercard and is, overall, apolitical – it’s a Random thing, not a political thing, and while there is some Wikileaks shiz involved, the Mother of All Wikis in the news is not behind it – Operation Payback, pplz, googlay it. Or, just read the comments in this otherwise ho-hum HotAir piece to see how, um, fucking stupid some people are about these here Internetz. Some people are best ignored – when someone’s telling you the Internet’s a big goddamn truck, it’s best just to let them insist it’s a big goddamn truck – no pass the toobz.

Note – if you’re relying on the googlay or that other Wiki for information about the Internet, you have clearly failed. Go to that CrackyChan place and the answers – along with all the gore, cheese pizza and Boxxy you can handle – will be yours.

KBL observation 1: Readership has gradually improved since the King broke off from the GOC to wax politics. The numbers are hysterically small – yesterday saw 200 original visitors, a record for KBL – but, for no budget, no name recognition, not a lot of time, zero sense of flair, less sense of hype, no goal of breaking any kind of news, completely not giving a shit what readers think, care about, enjoy or … and …. I think that about sums it up.

Cassie was giddy when she saw the numbers for yesterday – “Wow,” she said, “a few thousand more visitors and you’ll be a nobody in a sea of almost-nobodies, as opposed to a nobody in a sea of nobody-nobodies.” This is my thanks for that Red Dragon tat I ponied up for.

Not Cassie's tit - hers is bigger and darker

And yes, the right-wing politics, Palin boot-licking and general sense of loose cohesion will continue, as will the use of the Journalist Template. Call me old-fashioned.

Or don’t.

So, I’ve been doing about 30 seconds worth of thinking, and I think …

[I hate it when people say ‘I think’ when they’re writing something of personal opinion – we know you think it, jackwad 🙂 –Cassie]

…that the Previously on the Internet pieces will now be called The Jellywhite Almanac. Why am I now calling it that? Cuz I can. And – to start yet another sentence with a conjunction – Big Important Piece/s will now be noted as What The Cool Kids Are Saying, or WhaTCKAS in the Categories. Clearly, I’m not going for clever.

For example, though, you will note that the first entry in the WhaTCKAS derby comes from the coolest “kid” in class, Sarah Palin, who flexes her policy chops yet again with a Journal op-ed endorsing Paul Ryan’s roadmap on entitlements. In her piece, Palin writes:

In my view, a better plan is the Roadmap for America’s Future produced by Rep. Paul Ryan (R., Wisc.). The Roadmap offers a reliable path to long-term solvency for our entitlement programs, and it does so by encouraging personal responsibility and independence.

On health care, it would replace ObamaCare with a new system in which people are given greater control over their own health-care spending. It achieves this partly through creating medical savings accounts and a new health-care tax credit—the only tax credit that would be left in a radically simplified new income tax system that people can opt into if they wish.

The Roadmap would also replace our high and anticompetitive corporate income tax with a business consumption tax of just 8.5%. The overall tax burden would be limited to 19% of GDP (compared to 21% under the deficit commission’s proposals). Beyond that, Rep. Ryan proposes fundamental reform of Medicare for those under 55 by turning the current benefit into a voucher with which people can purchase their own care.

Let me be clear: so far as Palin goes, well, I want her on that wall, I need her on the wall. Humorously, you could pretty much take that entire speech and make it about her, which works for me, and would gall Aaron Sorkin, since he wrote it and hates her with a peace that passes understanding.

Holy Jeebus, I just went thar, and fuck no, I’m not linking to his original piece. He doesn’t need my several dozen readers feeding his ego. Heh.

Regarding Palin – and I regard her here, often it seems – a turning point was reached about a month ago, as the MSM is now paying close, guarded attention to her. Yes, there’s still the reference to that interview with the Coulter-ish ‘Eva Braun of morning talk’ but mostly, they’re having to be serious about Palin because she seems to be the only Conservative with intentions on Fred-6’s job that can be taken seriously. Some might seem more serious, some might want the job more, but really, is Mike Huckabee going to carry Conservatism into the White House – remember, at the beating heart of every Sky Pilot minister is a bleeding heart, the trapdoor to socialism through Conservatism – don’t go there, puh-leez don’t go there.

Oh yeah, all that build up because Time magazine found time to not put Fred-6 on the cover and instead did a Palin ‘paint-by-numbers’ job. Like NYTM last month, Time is now, for a moment, buying into the soaring stock we could abbreviate TPS – Taking Palin Seroiusly, or we could NASDAQ it up and call it TPSN, Taking Palin Seriously Now. Which begs the question:

Dammit – wrong question – do-over.

…which begs the question:

So anyway, that Time piece. Here’s a couple of early paragraphs:

That offhand remark, as inaccurate as it was incendiary, helped incite weeks of embarrassing town-hall meetings for Democrats, which in turn nearly brought down the Administration’s top priority. Palin, working at the time in San Diego on her first book, was surprised by her post’s galvanizing power. With just a few keystrokes, she discovered, she could ruin White House press secretary Robert Gibbs’ day, or as she puts it, “I find it a great way to communicate with people directly without the media filter.”(See pictures of Sarah Palin’s life since the 2008 election.)

There was no more talk of press lists. Since then, Palin has posted 307 messages to her 2.5 million Facebook fans, reaching her base much as Ronald Reagan reached his in the 1970s with his weekly radio commentaries. Eight Palin lieutenants scattered across the country were quietly given the job of policing her site. To this day, they scrub anything that is threatening, pornographic or unfit for children; that questions Barack Obama’s citizenship or the parentage of Palin’s toddler son Trig; or that hints that the government was behind the 9/11 attacks. Beyond that, though, pretty much anything goes, and over the past year, she has used her page and her Twitter account to promote her books and television show, endorse nearly 100 Republican candidates and blow Denali-size holes in the daily news cycle.

Thus will the template continue, and thus will it continue to be funny. For starters, the ‘death panels’ claim wasn’t inaccurate, unless Time was taking her literally as implying there is, hidden in the thousands of pages of Obamacare, a board called “Death Panel” where we send the old and sick to die.

No, Liberals never name things that way. Instead, they come up with meaningless, catchy acronyms like The DREAM Act.” But, assuming Palin wasn’t being that literal, there are indeed dealth panels ie rationing boards within Obamacare.

Okay, so getting past that, Time gets a bonus for not calling her television show a reality show. Beyond that, Time, as with every other media outlet, treats Palin, the Palinistas and everything else about the woman as does a National Geographic story about the deep end of the San Andreas faulty thing – ie in a manner that is equally humorous and sad. For example:

The most intriguing thing Palin has done since 2008 is march steadily to the right. Once a moderate Republican who proudly appealed to Alaska’s independent voters, she is now much more overtly conservative. Though her powerful videos, meant as they are for mass audiences, usually lack specifics, her speeches and tweets are far more pointed. She has mocked Obama’s “vast” nuclear-arms experience acquired as a community organizer and slammed him for apologizing to the world for America’s greatness. In a speech to the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in April, she hit Obama for “coddling our enemies and alienating allies” and for offering “tepid sanctions” on North Korea. (See winners and losers from the 2010 midterm elections.)

Palin was never a moderate Republican. For starters, she is Pro Life, which immediately dispels that notion, since whenever the term ‘moderate’ is used, it’s used in the context of being malleable on that most touchy of issues – she’s not, nor has she ever been, malleable on abortion.

And so on … you get the gist. Stories about Palin are twelve-for-ten-cents, and the only change in them will be the MSM’s staggered omigodness at their sudden spike in pageviews whenever they write about the woman – so long as its not nakedly hateful, their numbers will rise, and curiously, so will hers.

Everybody wins, no?

And like Apocalypse Now, this entry has no ending. It just ends. Toodles.


About godsowncrunk
I'm King B, the originator of the Jellywhite lyrical style and god's own crunk.

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