Now a word from our sponsor, and the super-happy funbag hour will resume…

Let’s start with a couple of quotes. With the first one anyone could guess the origin:

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

The second one’s a tad more difficult, but just as funny:

…they say she’s retarded but those titties ain’t retarded!

And now this:

This is a self-TwitPic (punpunpunpunnnnnnnnnnnnn…) of Meghan McCain she posted on Twitter some time back, and was then shocked that so many men were offering here jewelry of the pearl-necklace variety. Tits McGee is nothing if not the possessor of ginormous boobs. Tits McGee, baby, the super-happy funbag hour will always and forever be sponsored by … me.

If only that were where her fame began and ended, because I don’t care about a girl’s politics, she can go places with a, um, genetic thing like that (or those). Anyway…

[sorry, I keep scrolling up to leer at the epicness, sort of like…


What’s the point of all this? Well, other than getting a chance to share photographs seen by everyone who is anyone, it also gives me a chance to dwell on something more important: Tits McGee, who has published all sorts of crazy stuff and is a “columnist” at The Daily Beast (and yes, is the daughter of John McCain), had to Google blue blood because she did not know what it meant.

I kid you not.

I actually had to Google what the meaning of “blue bloods” was, although I could surmise that it was some kind of knock against education and coming from a family of some success

I’ve been kicking this can down the street for a day, because I thought my days of posting about Meghan’s McCain’s giant rack empty head thinking were over. And then, today, all sorts of the good shiz started popping up – here’s RS McCain, here’s Ace, here’s Moe, which I liked so much I added her bloggy thing  to the Royal Roll.

And here’s where it gets complicated. On the one hand, I want to grab her by the shoulders, shake her and observe, just as Dean Wormer did to Kent Dorfman that fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

On the other hand, I want to tell her critics, as Dave Atell did his when talking about time traveling in a drunken blackout and winding up screwing the girl running the fry-o-lator, that she may be retarded, but those titties ain’t retarded.

There is the part of me, though, that just wants to tell Tits McGee to just shut the fuck up. But that would be rude, sort of like using a conjunction at the beginning of a sentence. Maybe it would be best if we got a black-op to start blogging somewhere of note, a good-old-fashioned Liberal twit version of Tits McGee, maybe…

[Google just overloaded at the thought of doing a search for a big-titted Liberal twit – I guess there’s more than I thought…]

…Scarlett Johanson, who shares the Royal Birthday with z’King? As I recall, she loved(s) Fred-6 but I’m guessing she’s none-too-happy with whatever Ryan Reynolds told her the POTUS forgot to do recently. Perhaps she should start blogging at NRO or something.

Probably not.

When one subconsciously realizes early in life that Liberals are mind-numbed buffoons who substitute their feelings for whatever carefully-selected thoughts once dangled in their porous minds, one realizes he (or she, yes) is a Conservative, whether one realizes it explicit-like conscious-consciously or not; the book-learnin’ doesn’t come ’til later, but there is a point early in a young tyke’s life where the fuzzy-headed man with the soft voice and the Social Studies primer isn’t threatening or englightening, he’s just creepy. Once said tyke realizes this, he’s about two years away from reading The Fountainhead and then it’s off to the races.

Once that happens and maturity sets in, well, then one understands there are certain facts of life: Tits McGee will always have a job, and she will always get more shots bought for her than less bulbous genuine Conservatives like, I dunno, most of them.

Life ain’t fair and it’s gonna be, no matter what kind of proto-slavery the Democrat Party has in store for us.

The problem – the real problem – isn’t Tits McGee’s right to write whatever it is she is writing (no way she’s using a ghostwriter, that’s for shoor), nor is it the problem that The Daily Beast saw a great opportunity: big-titted dimwit says she’s a Republican – let her write whatever the hell she wants to write! Everyone wins!

No, the problem is that Meghan McCain loathes Sarah Palin almost as much as she likes talking about her generations like of the gehs and stuff, and this is A Very Serious Problem.

Why is it a serious problem?

Because, for a second, we must focus on what Tits McGee is saying instead of whether or not her tits make the words coming out of her mouth make any sense or not.

[See what I did there?]

Take a moment to read Ace’s post on the subject – it’s long and read-worthy. After defending Palin – something he is not happily doing – he then goes on to discuss how Palin takes everything way too personally or something. Which is probably true – who knows? I view her through lipstick-colored goggles and only see the one person who created a bully pulpit from which to speak who will go about the fungly business of substantively going after Fred-6 and his fellow Donkeys on a near-daily basis. I suppose after two years and change of having one’s children attacked incessantly by the media, one tends to get a bit prickly, but who knows, right?

Ace writes:

On the other hand, I have to say that Palin is largely responding in personal terms, which I find less than presidential. It’s all this “elitist” sort of stuff — you call me a name, I’ll call you a name — and there just doesn’t seem to be a criticism that Palin can let go unanswered. So while I’d like my presidential nominee to be an expert on one field of government policy or maybe a couple, I am finding that Palin is creating her own personal field of expertise which consists chiefly of defending the good name of Sarah Palin and snarking her critics.

This, see, is where Tits McGee is a problem, because there are Conservatives out there who either didn’t like Sarah Palin and never will, or used to like her but don’t now. Apparently, Ace is one of them, which is fine – his site remains my favorite in the Conservosphere, so whatever.

Yet, this notion that all Palin does (or seems to do) is respond to personal jabs is … wrong.

In the last seven days:

That last one most certainly qualifies as Palin going after media hypocrisy in covering every wrong word she says while ignoring Fred-6’s. My point is simple: when I hear it said that Palin should be talking about policy, then how exactly should she be talking about it? She writes op-eds, goes on Fox, cooperated with a New York Times Magazine piece, regularly posts about policy at Facebook, and gives policy speeches.

She does not work for the federal government, is not a diplomat and, as if the points need belaboring in all directions, is no longer a governor. Don’t like her? Fine – just quit saying she needs to talk about policy when she is the only fucking Conservative out there who can talk about policy and get media attention. I’m sure Paul Ryan would run circles around her talking about monetary policy, but the fact is that most people would say who the fuck is Paul Ryan and why do we care?

Yes, I agree that it’s a sad thing that Palin is the only Conservative who gets any attention, but if not for her, then Tits McGee would join Kathleen Parker as the go-to, camera-friendly face for all Conservative issues. I guess in a perfect world, George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Thomas Sowell and Antonin Scalia could sit around a table each week and tell the media what Conservatism wants, what its doing to get its wants, and how those wants will positively affect this country and the world at large, but we don’t live in a perfect world.

We live in a world where a pretty plump girl like Tits McGee can represent herself as a Conservative and never get called on it when it counts, and we also live in a world where a former beauty pageant contestant will never convince a certain segment of the voting public that she is nothing more than a former beauty pageant contestant, no matter what she writes, says or does, and no matter how people who hate Conservatives use her as the punch-line for every unfunny joke they tell, none of this is going to change that.

Again – life is not fair.

The larger question I ask – and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask – is what, exactly do you know about Sarah Palin that you learned from a primary source – from watching her speak, reading her books, Facebook Notes, etc? When you ask about her policy positions, you do realize that on almost every major issue that would be relevant in a campaign, she has staked out a position, and you know what, it’s the Conservative one almost every time. Monetary policy? Iran? Israel? The wars on the ground? The War on Terror? North Korea? The list goes on – she has written and spoken about all these, and as the NYTMag piece makes perfectly fucking clear, she writes her own pieces, and has very few advisors.


Okay, now that I’ve said that.

I’m a Palinista and until she royally – and I mean royally – fucks up, I will remain a Palinista. I don’t need other Conservatives to like her, adore her, worship her – I just want to make sure you vote for her. I don’t care if you think she’s stupid, or that Senator Random White Guy From Red State would make a better POTUS.

I. Don’t. Care.

Palin – faster than anyone in politics – has grasped the good and the bad of the new media age in which we live. It’s not ideal, it’s not fair, but it has certainly rules, certain dynamics and certain biases, and there’s a reason she never backs down and rarely loses a fight on substance, and it’s not because the Media Industrial Complex is run by Jews for Sarah.

It will take a Herculean effort to beat Fred-6 in 2012. It will take beating back nitwits like Tits McGee and Nosey Parker, has-beens like Noonan and never-was types like Frum et al. It will take seriously thick skin and the willingness to fight seriously dirty.

When a Conservative rises to take Palin’s spot, I’ll support them. But for now, she’s happily our top person, and as I have since before she was made famous by John McCain, I support her a hundy-percent. She’s been there and done that, and unlike so many policy experts whose names I never hear, she is fighting the rhetorical and image wars her own way, and she is winning.



About godsowncrunk
I'm King B, the originator of the Jellywhite lyrical style and god's own crunk.

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