Uh-oh – mailbag!

From a concerned reader regarding the football/handegg confusion:

Subject: Official complaint to editorial department of KingBLive and GOC

Dear sirs, madames, and others,

As a prematurely crotchety straight white American male who is and will remain soaked in the comforting warmness of his own ethnocentricity until the day dirt is thrown over his cold body, I feel the need to contact your organitzation about a disturbing phenomenon I have noticed in your publications of late, a phenomenon that, to me, displays a grave disrespect for all that is holy, wholesome, and worth a fuck in this great nation. The phenomenon has to do with what appears to be some confusion amongst your writing staff regarding proper definitions and spelling of certain group-centered athletic skill competitions.

You see, dear sirs, “football” is an obscenely beautiful American sport that is fun to watch and speculate on. As of late, your writing staff seems to be confusing the spelling of this wonderful game with it’s more global cousin, “futbol”. This must stop.Much as it is often convenient and appropriate to draw attention to our current President’s “otherness” by referring to his middle name, Hussein, when identifying him, employing useage of the term “futbol” is very convenient for both the American author and the American reader, lest one or the other confuse red-blooded beer swilling good ‘ol boys with fascists, communitst, and smelly brown people from the (not first, not second) third-world. In the not so distant past, your writers seemed to make a point of distinguishing between these two (hardly comparable) sports by employing the forementioned differential spellng methods.

Now they do not, and I find it disturbing and somewhat obscene, not unlike the feeling a devout Christian might experience upon reading an article whereupon Jesus, Yaweh, and Allah are all referenced as “the same God”. I implore you, dear sirs, to give this matter your utmost attention, lest I be forced to cancel my subscription to your free webzine, or failing that, to uncontrollably throw my shoe at my video screen.

Best Regards,



About godsowncrunk
I'm King B, the originator of the Jellywhite lyrical style and god's own crunk.

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